Well surprise folks! The above photo is why I’ve been rather absent lately. Baby #3 is on the way this December! Now comes the reality of this curve ball...
My husband and I have always wanted three kids, and don’t get me wrong, we are thrilled but this surprise has really shaken me. I remember being so scared to read the home test results that I made my husband do it for me, and subsequently started crying in a mad panic the minute he told me it was positive. What were we going to do? My youngest is currently 11 months old, and I thought I’d have more time between kiddos for things like money management, home improvements, wine, beer (lol)...But lo and behold, this was not the case. I panicked, we didn’t have another room, we didn’t have a big enough car, I can’t afford daycare for three kids!!!
For about three months straight I would randomly break down in tears and have legitimate panic attacks. All of this combined with morning sickness made life hell. The worse out of all of this was the guilt. Specifically two waves of guilt. The first was this overwhelming guilt that I wouldn’t be able to give my young son the attention I was able to give our daughter, as he would still be so little when this baby is born. Would I be able to make sure he felt loved and cared for with a newborn to deal with???
The second wave of guilt I felt was for feeling embarrassed. I felt embarrassed to be having kids so close together and this even kept me from telling people for the longest time, because I worried that their responses would be along the lines of: “Already? Again? Aren’t you worried about having them so close together? How are you going to work with three kids? How will you be able to afford it? Where will you put them?” All of these responses I feared as they would just be stating out loud all the things that I actually felt! This resulted in feeling embarrassed...then guilty about feeling embarrassed about what should be a blessing in my life.
Finally, after I just about got out of the first trimester, I started to feel better (physically at least). But I still worried and stressed about what this child would do to our lives. However, my husband forced me to realize something so simple and very important: this was our life and it doesn’t matter what anybody else has to say. Now this was probably obvious to all of you, and most likely what you've been thinking while reading this entire post so far, but for myself, it really hit me. All of my panic and guilt and stress was centered around what other people would think! Take that away, and I was actually excited to be having another beautiful child to love and another sibling for my kids. When we did announce it, I didn’t receive the flak I thought I would, although I did get many reactions to the news that made it sound like our lives would be absolute craziness and chaos with a third child. It got me thinking, when did it become such a stigma to have more than two kids? Now don’t get me wrong, I am in no way, shape or form criticizing families with two kids or less. I’m merely wondering why it’s considered crazy to have three??? Now I grew up around many traditional Catholic families, so maybe that skews my perspective, as many of my friends had ten plus siblings! So to me, three kids was nothing!
So tell me folks, what were some of the fears, crazy reactions and stigmas you received when announcing a pregnancy? Because let me tell you, you are not alone!!! I’m still having waves of fear mixed with a little panic, but I’m now accepting of the fact that I’m allowed to be happy about my life and my choices without having to take into account how others will feel of my news.
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