Hello out there! Sorry for the absence lately, the working mom schedule has been a bigger challenge than usual as of late! But here I am!
Let’s get this ball rolling...So who out there has social media? Snapchat? Facebook? Instagram? All of the above? Whatever form of social media you prefer, inevitably you have people you follow or who you are “friends“ with, whether it be on a virtual level or a personnel level. How many of these people do you envy? I mean that as a serious question, how many of the people on your social media feed to you find yourself wishing to be like? This one just bought a brand new house, that one just started a new career, this one makes being a mom look so easy!
You think you’re innocently thinking about goals for your own life, but in reality you are feeling as if your own existence isn’t as good as the people whose lives you have a tiny window into. And that’s the truth right there: you are seeing the smallest percentage of these peoples lives. You aren’t seeing the hit to the budget to afford that house, you aren’t seeing the daily struggle to climb into a career, or the ugly crying that happens frequently as a parent (any mom will tell you it’s true!). We are seeing merely what others want us to. This feeling of inadequacy that comes with vegging out and scrolling through our social media is greatly costing our self esteem and general feeling of well being and happiness! I’ve posted many an article about how important self motivation is, but with this kind of perfection and false sense of achievement it is a struggle! While you truly want to feel happy for your friends, it casts a harsh light onto any feelings of failure, and this hinders any self motivation to further our own lives.
Now I’m not saying you need to go delete your social media, or delete all of your friends and family whose posts make you want to cry in self loathing. But you need to actually find a healthy way to use social media. For every five personal friends you have on social media, add one person or follow one site that is purely motivational. Self help, counseling, fitness or spiritual. This is something I have recently put into practice. While I’m scrolling through posts of others “perfect lives” and starting to feel down about my own, suddenly pops up a post that is directly motivational so I stop feeling sorry for myself. Scroll down further feeling envy towards that friend who just posted about the joys of staying at home with their kids, and bam! There’s a spiritual post that inspires me to look beyond my own feelings and be truly happy for my friend. Going on further and seeing my friends in their bathing suit summer posts and looking down in disgust at my own flabby mommy tummy, then in your face! A post about motivational fitness goals that makes me want to take ownership! Try it out, I truly believe this will change your entire feelings towards social media and turn it into a positive experience.
But I have another challenge for you all. Look at your own profile, and look at the last time you actually posted a less than perfect picture or post? I challenge you to post a photo of yourself or your life that shows the imperfections, not the perfections. I’m not saying the world of social media should suddenly put all of their sad and depressing moments on blast, that would bring a negativity to everyone who posts and that is unhealthy as well. Instead I’m asking you to post something personal, and maybe not exactly pretty, with a caption about the difficult time you are or were experiencing at that time. Also, post with this a positive message about the struggle you experienced. By doing this, you are accepting that your life isn’t perfect, but that’s OK. And you are also inspiring someone else who is feeling down while scrolling through their own social media.
I’d love to see everyone’s posts and ask that you please either tag me on Instagram: @a_happy_place_for_moms or use my hashtag: #ahappyplaceformoms. I look forward to seeing all of your posts and challenges, and how you’ve overcome them!
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